Someone once (or twice) said, know thyself. Let’s see; the Oracle of Delphi, Jesus, well, heck, about everybody worth mentioning has some twist on it. Why? Most of us who have been in therapy, read numerous self-help books, etc., are left being mostly acutely aware of what is wrong with us and eventually head back to the barn (what’s familiar). There is only so much we can take. And those of us who hang in there still complain of the loneliness and austere life it seems the road less traveled requires. “To Hell with it!” we say, “Life is short and I need a reward for all this vigilance and self-examination, arrgh…pass the Kool-Aid.” So, we continue the search, now seeking elsewhere for guidance, and perhaps decide Popeye was right, “I am what I am” and get on with life.
If knowing the truth and ourselves is that much trouble, I can’t be bothered: I have bills to pay, mountains to climb, kids to feed, men to seduce (who will hopefully rescue me from it all), women to charm (who will hopefully distract me from my failures), pounds to lose, wrinkles to conquer, a legacy to leave so I can get to Happily Ever After already. So we ditch Buddha for Santa Claus (& Popeye) and keep looking for the secret. “Know thyself, ha!” we mutter and join the proverbial “if ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” crowd.
We manage to skate for a while on our latest distractions: a new love interest, new job, new cosmetic procedure, sudden influx of cash, new handbag or project. Yet the gap between how we act and who we are widens, and no matter what we tell ourselves, eventually the suffering returns, most of it silent. And we wonder why. So we up the dues: get more sex, more stuff, more money, more attention, better projects, a different house, another baby, another job, travel (that’s it! I need a vacation!), a face lift, a tummy tuck, lose 20 pounds, a younger wife, get another degree, REDECORATE for God’s sake… THIS IS AMERICA! The pursuit of happiness is my birthright!
Beneath the façade of fake smiles and the it’s all good story swells the raging sea of discontent, the cauldron of disappointment, chilled by terror and fueled by resentment that things are not different. This cocktail is lethal—we chase it down with envy and regret as the elusive dream slips further away.
According to scientists, our daily behavior is 90% subconscious. From years one to five a projection reel spliced with trauma, false beliefs and genetic inheritance has been cast upon our nubile brains: the reel continually spins out our reality, like the daily press, in predictable neural loops over our lifetime. It seems who we are is simply who someone else (“they”) told us to be. Most of us were duped and now are understandably pissed, as we find interrupting these patterns and uncovering who we really are feels like trying to stop a nose-diving 747 jet with a diaphragm.
You might cry, “Why do I pretend to be more than I am, have more than I have? Why do I feel that I am not enough, why don’t I want what I have, how come happiness escapes me, why do I believe that when I get (blank) everything will be okay, but that never seems to come?” The good news is, what is fake about you is NOT who you are! Who you are is magnificent, eternal, and unique. Yet until we know this true self we feel trapped in a life directed by an unconscious dictator, our subconscious beliefs and patterns.
While you may be tired, overwhelmed and have no bandwidth right now as survival is taking its toll, as my mother would say, “Don’t give up 5 minutes before the miracle.” Here is an exercise that may help you reignite your search for freedom of being, as well as put some pep back in your step—the energy it takes to pretend to be someone you are not, be fake, is extraordinary.
What’s fake about me? exercise
1. Get a piece of paper and write down all the things that are fake about you (you may burn after reading, of course). Examples might be that you are:
Fake skinny: you spend an inordinate amount of time watching your weight so that people will find you attractive or so you will feel loved or seen. You fear that if you were fat you would never be happy, popular, get a man, be loved or accepted.
Fake nice: you spend much of your time trying to make people like you, manipulating your circumstances by being nice so you can get what you want, while underneath you seethe with resentment or envy of those who don’t seem to care what others think.
Fake rich: you pretend to be successful, you have mortgaged your life so others will think you are a person of worth, you lease your car that you cannot afford, buy clothes to create a false image, live in a house beyond your means, etc.
You get the idea, go ahead and explore all the fake parts: fake smart, because you believe you need to know so you can hide your fear of being inept or stupid; fake pretty, in hopes of being perfect-looking so you can finally be important, special or loved; fake happy, because you know people don’t want to hear your problems and would never want to be around someone as depressed and messed up as you really feel. Fake straight, fake sexy, fake sensitive, fake caring, fake in control, fake good mom, fake happy marriage, fake great relationship, fake healthy, fake spiritual, and on and on. Let it out. You have an opportunity to relieve yourself of the burden of living this secret life by simply admitting it!
2. Be with it. Sit down with what’s fake about you and move deeper into it. Exaggerate it, even. Give it a voice. Let the fake part or parts have a turn telling you about themselves. You might be surprised at what they have to say!
3. Feel it. Whatever feeling or emotions come, let yourself have them. Like a wave, they will not hurt you; they will wash through you and heal you if you have the courage to feel them all the way. (It could be helpful to have an enlightened witness to share this part of the process with, someone you trust to your core.)
4. Allow it. Relaxing into this allowing, comes freedom. In the acceptance comes understanding and then compassion. Including all our parts allows us greater freedom of being. Developing unconditional love for ourselves expands our capacity for intimacy and joy.
5. Know this is not all of who you are. My teacher Kathy reminds me of this fact all the time. I feel relieved and all at once welcomed back to the human race and condition. We find our right size again. This perspective gives space for a sense of peace and well-being, room to breathe and dream forward your heart’s true desires again. Your soul shines, your authentic self is free to be!
Namasté and blessings, freedom seekers!
by Maryanne Comaroto of Maryanne Live
Color Eggs with Shaving Cream
Color Eggs with melted crayons
(a great way to use up all those tiny little broken ones!)
Baking Soda Egg Coloring
Silk Tie Easter Eggs
Dye the Inside AND the outside - fun to eat!!
Other cool Easter Stuff:
Eggshell Tealight Centerpiece
Chick-y Deviled Eggs
(photo found on Pinterest, no link available -just goes to the photo)
50 Things to put in Easter Eggs other than Candy
Super Easy chocolate treat (yes, it says valentines, but those look like Easter candies to me!)
Love these "Baskets in a Jar"
(photo found on Pinterest, no link available - just goes to the photo)
"Cinnabunnies" for Easter Breakfast
LOVE this super easy centerpiece (photo found on Pinterest, no link available - just goes to photo)
That should be enough to get the creative juices flowing.... get out there & craft away!! :-)
If at all possible, I avoid these outings; planning grocery shopping and other appointments around times when my husband will be home to watch at least some of the children. As much as I try to schedule these errands around my husbands at home time, there will inevitably arrive a time when I am forced to drag all five of them to the store.
A trip to the local Super Walmart for a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread can quickly turn into a three ring circus if you are not prepared (and in all honesty, it probably will still). Here is a list of what has worked for me:
1-Set your expectations BEFORE you get out of the car- Before any of my children are allowed out of the car I let them know what kind of behavior I expect and what the consequences will be if I do not get that behavior. If your children are younger, this may be difficult, but it is always good to set the standards before rather than making up the rules as you go along.
2-If you have a child small enough for the seat in the shopping cart-use it!- Make sure you use a cart with a child safety strap and never leave them unattended while in the cart. Many stores also provide cart handle wipes to help combat the germs that like to live on shopping carts. Having one child out from underneath your feet is definitely helpful. Our local Smiths (a chain in the Kroger family) has the children’s carts that have a car in front and two seats in the cart, so four of my children call all be seated at once! When I am on the fence about where I want to go for a few basic items, this is a big selling point.
3-Give older children a responsibility- Children want to feel needed and important. If they are given a responsibility (finding the bread or choosing the snack for their soccer game) they are more likely to behave.
4-If budget will allow, patronize stores that cater to families- There are many grocery stores that offer services that help busy families. Some go as far as offering child care. Harmon’s, a local
5-Follow through with your threats- The biggest tip I can give you is to be consistent. If you threaten to take away a privilege if their behavior does not meet your expectations, you must follow through.
If you are consistent, your children will learn that you are serious about your expectations. With my three year old, I find that I need a more immediate consequence for bad behavior. When his behavior is unacceptable, we find an out of the way corner, right where we are, and use that as a time out spot. Because time-out is what he is used to at home for misbehavior, this works for our family.
Following these tips may not make for a peaceful trip to the grocery store, but you may just make it through without pulling out your hair!
Posted by Christine of Random Thoughts With Chris
It has been estimated that 85% of the U.S. population is Omega-3 deficient. Omega-3's are vital to the functioning of our bodies - we need these good fats for our brains, our internal organs, and our nervous systems (just to mention a few). When we supplement our diets with these healthy Omega-3 oils, good things happen to our bodies.
Flaxseed is rich in a vegan source of Omega-3 fatty acids (in fact, it is the richest source of any Omega-3), which makes it a viable alternative to fish oil for just about everyone. Flaxseed is nothing new, it has been dated as far back as 3,000 B.C. where it was cultivated in Babylon. In fact, burial chambers depict flax cultivation and clothing from flax fibres. The healthy oils in flax help you to feel full longer and help keep your blood sugar at a more steady level, thus eliminating the spike and crash that would come from simple sugars and carbohydrates. If you feel fuller, longer, you as a result, will eat less than if you had eaten a low or no fat meal. The oils in Flaxseed are converted to compounds that fire up the metabolic processes in our cells. sort of like a furnace, once they get going, the cells generate more heat and burn more fuel, in this case, calories.
Flaxseed is highly nutritious and high in fiber. The essential nutrients in flaxseed oil also increase oxygen consumption at the cell-level resulting in increased energy and stamina, and feeling of well-being. Flax expands five times in bulk when ingested - we all know that fiber is our friend in the weight loss game, and what a painless way to add extra fiber to you diet.
We're not saying that flaxseed is "the" miracle-fix for everything, but it has been touted to help with much, much more than just weight loss. Some other benefits of flaxseed are:
- Flaxseed is full of lignans (potent cancer fighters).
- Flaxseed helps to improve your immune system.
- The Omega-3's in flaxseed help to lower your blood pressure.
- Flax has been shown to lower blood levels of triglycerides and very low density lipoproteins.
- Flaxseed (because of the Omega-3's) has anti-inflammatory properties.
- The good oils in Flaxseed help to control skin problems (such as eczema and psoriasis).
So, what are you waiting for?? Get out there and get yourself some flaxseed - your body will thank you for it (and you'll probably drop a few extra pounds too)!
Now, now! Don't turn your nose up! There's way more to beets that the purple gushy sliced things you see decorating salad bars all of over America. We're talking fresh beets, the kind that are in season RIGHT now!
Beets are amazingly healthy; they tell you that all by themselves by their gorgeous color. Rich in folate, fiber, vitamin C, magnesium and a whole host of other vital nutrients, beets need to considered in your diet. Seriously!
Here's today's TRICK:
Raw beets are easy to disguise in a beef and black bean burrito. Ask me how I know. :-) My children (now 20 & 18) still don't know to this day they have consumed many a beet this way!
Here's a TIP:
Store unwashed beets in your fridge's crisper. They'll stay good for 2 or more weeks! If the beets "bleed" on you, use lemon juice to help remove the purple.
And your RECIPE:
4 to 6 beets, scrubbed, peeled and quartered (they'll bleed)
1-2 tablespoons olive oil
sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place your cut up beets evenly on a baking pan; drizzle with olive oil, top with salt and pepper to taste. Roast till fork tender, about 20 to 30 minutes depending on the size.
Leanne Ely, C.N.C.
Your Dinner Diva at your service on http://savingdinner.com/
Copyright (C) 2010 www.savingdinner.com Leanne Ely, CNC All rights reserved.
This can be a basket on the kitchen counter, a bulletin board in the entryway, a built-in in the mudroom. Whatever you decide to use as your command post, the important thing is that you have a plan and are consistent with using the space.
For example, when you come in our main entrance I have a bench (that opens for storage). The kids can sit down, take off their shoes and put their bookbags inside. Then there is a basket for my purse and keys- this is where the boys know to put papers that are important for me to see. We also have an outgoing basket- for library books, DVD's that need returned, etc. That way when you are heading out the door you can grab the things that have a home outside yours.
Keep a folder for each child's current school year information. If a paper comes in that you will need for future reference stick it in this folder so you know where it is. Encourage your child to clean out their bookbag frequently (especially if they tend to be disorganized) so that you can make sure you haven't missed any important papers.
Do you have a command post in your house? Do you think you would benefit from one (you would :-)?
Posted by Melissa of Multitasking Mama
It's Monday again (already!!). The year is flying by and the weather has finally taken a turn for the better - the dreary rain has subsided and things are bright and sunny again.
This week's menu is laid-back and easy, giving me a rest for a week while I get ready for the holiday that will be here before I blink my eyes. I started a new walking program and it's kicking my behind so having something simple to cook after a long day makes life so much easier.
Here's my plan for the week:
Monday April 14thSlow Cooker Chicken Pot Pie over homemade biscuits
(if you have any leftovers from previous meals, use them up, otherwise, the recipe for the most simple, yummiest biscuit/rolls is HERE or you could just whip up a batch of Bisquick drop biscuits which would be just as yummy) Salad
Tuesday, April 15th
Wednesday, April 16th
Fried Rice *
(I use a generic bag of frozen stir-fry combo veggies & add some soy sauce and a little oyster sauce to make them yummy!)
hursday, April 17th
Take-Out Burgers and Fries
(Habit Burgers happens to be our favorite)
Friday, April 18th
Saturday, April 19th
Mexican Stuffed Shells
(make a regular green salad, add some drained fiesta corn and mix equal parts ranch dressing and salsa, toss - yumm!)
Sunday, April 20th (Happy Easter!)
Scalloped Potatoes (I'm lazy, I use the Betty Crocker Box - shame on me - lol!)Asparagus
(wash and snap woody ends off, place on baking sheet, drizzle with olive oil, kosher salt and pepper, roast until the tips are crispy and browned - drizzle with balsamic vinegar if desired before serving)Deviled Eggs
(use your mom's favorite recipe!)
Dinner Rolls (Use recipe from Monday)
There you go, a simple week without too much fuss - nothing fancy, but it will get the job done. Oh, and before I go, I wanted to share something that might make your menu planning a little more fun...
These adorable FREE printables are available over at The View from 510 - make sure to tell her "Thank you" and that Pink Lemonade sent you if you download them - they'll make menu planning so much more fun!!
Have a great week!
- Liz :-)
* ( I use the Kikoman Fried Rice Seasoning Mix that I get at my local grocery store - my kiddo loves this over any other recipe I've tried and it's pretty quick and easy - just remember to make your rice either the night before or first thing in the morning and refrigerate as you can't make proper fried rice unless the rice is cold)
This post is part of the Menu Plan Monday theme hosted each week by the sites listed below. For more meal planning ideas, hop on over and check out the other posts today.
Why do we "Spring Clean"? Do we have some sort of need to be miserable for several days? Do we have a fascination with cleaning products? More than likely, if you're anything like me, you just want to make everything fresh, just like the changing season. Let's face it - we've been cooped up in our houses for the better part of three or four months (more if you live in a colder climate). Add to that the horrible cold and flu season this year and the need to just "wash everything down"... to clean... is calling my name!
Sometimes the most daunting part of a big task like Spring Cleaning is where to even begin... It's really quite simple - begin with a list! A checklist of sorts will make your job so much easier. Begin your Spring Cleaning not with rubber gloves, but with a "cuppa" coffee (or whatever you like - it's your choice). Grab a pad of paper, a pen and sit down for a brainstorm. Imagine each room of your home and quickly jot down the things that need to be done in each room.
A "Quick" list might look like this:
Aaahhhh, Spring.... It warms the heart and soul, It turns a young man’s fancy to love and it calls the name of all my cleaning products to gather around me and chant....”spring”.... “spring”.... “spring”....
Helpful Hint: If you have roughly textured walls try using old pantyhose instead of a sponge when wiping them down, they won’t shred like a sponge.