Monday, May 11, 2009

Top 10 Things NOT to Do At a Child's Birthday Party

Over the weekend, I attended my Niece's 7th Birthday party. It was thrown by Mr. Pink Lemonade's Sister and well, all I can say is that her parties are always.... an... experience. I thought I would give you just a little insight as to how I spent my Saturday afternoon entire day and give you a few tips on things you may want to avoid when hosting your child's next party...


Top 10 Things NOT to Do At a Child's Birthday Party

10. Do not expect invite your guests to arrive at 1pm and then expect them to stay for lunch and activities AND dinner (it's a KIDS party - they get bored quickly!)

9. Do not let your Mother go completely bonkers when some of the guests you have invited do not show up at the exact moment you expected the party to start (mainly because these people are veteran party goers at your home and know it's going to be a marathon so they're putting it off as long as they can!)

8. Do not set up your backyard with dorky activities like putting and magnetic darts and then include them as your "party games" forcing each child to participate with at least one try each (it was very reminiscent of the cousin's loser casino in the movie "Vegas Vacation").

7. Do not invite three times as many adults as children - there was only one child who was not a relative at this party - doesn't she have any school friends?

6. Do not serve us "clam dip" made almost entirely from Miracle Whip and Cream Cheese AND Velveeta chunks for lunch - we would certainly like our arteries to allow some blood to flow to our hearts for the rest of the evening's fetivities (wouldn't want to miss those!) - at leat you live near a Hospital!

5. Do not force your guests to go for a "tractor ride" in the wagon of an ancient tractor if they do not want to - oh, and it would be nice if you didn't pull said tractor and wagon through a snake-infested field either.

4. Do not allow your seven year old to be the tractor driver in above mentioned tractor rides as she will surely run said ancient tractor head-on into the trampoline almost spilling the passengers from the wagon.

3. Do not give the children the answers to scavenger hunt questions as you hand them the question card - at least let them read the question first.

2. Do not serve old wine that has been open in your refrigerator for an unknown (think years) amount of time - so long, that when you pour red wine into a glass it is the color of rust - we live in the Napa Valley for heavens sakes... the mecca of wine.. all you have to do is walk two minutes to buy a new bottle! Oh, and when you finally do break down and open a new bottle please be careful as to whom you leave the open bottles sitting next to...

And the #1 thing NOT to do at a Kid's Birthday Party...

1. Do not invite your child's teachers to the party and leave the open bottles of wine right where they are sitting as they WILL drink it ALL. Sloshed teachers trying to pick up all of the men under 70 at the party.. NOT a good thing!!

I hope you can all learn a thing or two from my uber-fun Saturday - good luck with YOUR next kid party!!



Posted by Liz of Pink Lemonade

7 comments:

judybrittle said...

That was funny! I'm glad to hear you had fun!

Kara said...

Oh wow! That must've been quite the party!

Cris said...

haha! at least some of us will be warned! im sure your next party will be perfect!

Meredith said...

So bloody funny. Especially like the drinking teacher bit.
meredycat*lycos*com

Dan River Mama said...

LOL Sounds like several birthday parties that I have attended. Great post!

Lisa said...

Holy cow! That sounds like fun. See if you can wrangle us an invite next year...

Gianna said...

Sounds like you've been to some doozys LOL