Making the effort to learn how to inner-view effectively is more than worth your time - taking things slowly and learning what a person is really all about is not only a great way to get to know the real them, it's an investment in your future and a way to make sure you are spending your time  wisely instead of wasting time with the wrong people. Real love is not something that is negotiated, and great relationships begin within, so unless you think that playing games and engaging in power struggles has worked for you in the past, then it's time to find another way to do things.

It can be immensely painful to find out that someone you're really interested in is married, or in a relationship, or only looking for sex, or simply not interested in you. Obviously a great relationship is not just about having that initial spark with someone, otherwise finding these things out would be no problem, and I wouldn't be writing this blog!

Last time I promised you I'd tell you the one thing you should know before going on a first date. Up until now we've focused a lot on finding out who the other person is, what special things they have to offer, and so forth, but what we haven't talked much about is that for them, YOU are the "other person," so what happens when they start asking questions about you?

This morning I asked myself, if I were single and on a first date, what questions would I be afraid to hear, and what answers would I dread having to give? There's always the feeling of not wanting to overshare when you're just getting to know someone; you may have some things that you want to share with them over time. But if you have some things that you are keeping secret, know that eventually they will drive space between you and the person you are trying to be close to, if you don't deal with the situation head-on. There are the stupid things you did when you were younger, and maybe you can laugh about those now, but there are other things that you may still be ashamed of or hurt about, and these are things to keep in mind when you're planning to go into the inner-view process.  The other person will likely have as complicated a history as you do, so ask your questions with grace, and answer with the same open honesty that you want them to have.

So for anyone going on a first date, here are the five questions that you should find out the answers to if you want a fulfilling, healthy, lasting relationship!


1.   If they're actually single and not with someone, married, separated but still living in the same house, etc.


2.   If they're emotionally available, or still going through some heartache from the last relationship


3.   If they're looking for a casual thing, just sex, or something more lasting and real


4.   If they want to have kids someday - this may seem like too much to ask on a first date, but if you can find out now, then you can avoid wasting time on future dates if their answer does not match your own plans


5.   If they're capable of commitment - previous long-term relationships serve well as evidence


So there you go my lovelies, and stay tuned for my upcoming book DIRT, Plan B: 101 Questions that make or break a relationship!


- Maryanne


by Maryanne Comaroto of Maryanne Live

Featured Weekly on Pink Lemonade Online Magazine

Flowers are most thought of as a great gift or something nice to look at, but many people overlook the benefits of having them in the home. Flowers can be a simple decorating solution and even help to improve your mood.

Below are a few reasons of why flowers make a great addition to any part of your home, provided by eco-friendly, mission based florist, Organic Bouquet (http://www.organicbouquet.com/).

Bright, fresh cut flowers instantly improve your mood. People with fresh flowers in their homes are most likely to feel less worried and feel fewer periods of anxiety or depression.
 
Flowers can easily take the place of boring everyday table décor. Coordinate bouquet colors with your space, or place a bright bouquet on a shabby old table to draw the eye and lend to a fresh new look.
 
Smell is one of the most powerful senses and can trigger instant memories. A rose’s robust smell can fill a room with just one flower. Choose familiar bouquets that bring back fond memories of growing up in the country, taking a final bow on stage, or even those used on your wedding day.

Fresh flowers have been shown to stimulate creativity while promoting concentration. Adding flowers and fresh plants to your child’s bedroom or play area will brighten the space as well as their growing imagination, while also encouraging responsibility.
 
Providing workers in underdeveloped countries everything from zero-interest loans, childcare, healthcare, education, environmental protection, supplies, and more, each purchase from Organic Bouquet helps to improve the life of a flower farm worker, their family and the local community. They are also a carbon neutral company, partnered with ClimateFund.org in a carbon offset program supporting re-forestation projects in Guatemala.

 
 
OrganicBouquet.com

 

Fight or Flight - the new album from Emily Osment - hits stores next week on October 5th, but fans can preview the album this week exclusively on JSYK.com. Fight or Flight features her electro-pop single "Lovesick," currently available only on Verizon Wireless. Grab your phone and go to the VCast store to download the MP3, and visit VZW Tones > What's New to get "Lovesick" as ringtone or ringback tone (buy online).

Pre-orders for Fight or Flight are still available on Emily's website, OfficialEmilyOsment.com. Fans can choose just the CD, a CD with an exclusive pre-order t-shirt, or the Super Fan Pack, which includes the pre-order t-shirt, a personalized voicemail greeting recorded by Emily and a personal phone call from Emily herself.

For all the latest news and updates, stay tuned to the website or her Facebook page, where she has also launched a new Back to School Quiz. Visit the Quiz tab to answer a series of questions about Emily, win badges and challenge Friends.

According to a new projection from Challenger, Gray & Christmas, retailers will hire between 500,000 and 600,000 workers for the holidays. (Last year, 501,400 were hired.) If you expect to nab one of those seasonal slots, now is the time to act.

Start now: Almost every employer I spoke with said they will begin interviewing in early to mid-October to make sure their seasonal staff is in place when they need them. Don't wait until Thanksgiving to pound the pavement. Now is your time.

Be flexible: You'll have more options on scheduling the earlier you apply, but flexibility on day, evening, overnight and weekend shifts will give you access to the most opportunity. Be clear on which days and times you're available.

Juggle Jobs, or Work from Home

Apply in person (where applicable): Apply in person where applicable. This may mean a paper application or a kiosk, depending on the company. Dress the part and chat up the manager, too, so you can put a face to your resume. If it's retail, visit the store and get to know the merchandise before applying. Ask if and when you can call on the status of your application so you're not in the dark.

Double up: Most seasonal jobs pay minimum wage to $12 an hour (again, just an average) and you'll likely have part-time, not fulltime, hours. This means if you're looking to work fulltime, you'll have to juggle more than one seasonal gig to make the most money.

For a comprehensive list of employers looking to fill more than 200,000 seasonal positions for the holidays, click here.

Work at home: This category is one of the most popular among GMA viewers -- answering customer service calls from home. Calls to customer service explode during the holiday season, and five of the biggest home-based customer service providers will recruit more than 10,000 seasonal agents, many of whom will have the opportunity to stay on after the holidays based on individual performance. As a home-based agent, you'll handle customer questions, process online and catalog orders and other related duties.

So Who's Hiring?

Among the companies to explore: Alpine Access, Arise, Convergys, LiveOps, VIPDesk and Working Solutions.

Each company hires workers differently: employees, independent contractors and incorporated agents. Some offered paid training, while others do not. Ask questions and explore their websites in great detail before determining if there's an appropriate fit for you. (Also, if you've applied previously, but there was no suitable opening for you, you'll have to apply again to be considered for seasonal work.)

Retail: This is the most popular form of holiday work. I talked to a handful of the giants and this weekend I walked in to stores of all sizes to ask about holiday hiring plans. Every place told me they are planning to hire some kind of seasonal help -- sales, customer service and stock. And big box companies employ seasonal staffers 24 hours a day.

Shipping and Security Positions to Open Up

Some of the biggest national retailers are hiring big this season: JCPenney will add 30,000 jobs. Macy's says it will add 65,000 jobs. Toys R Us will hire 45,000 people, including 10,000 who'll work at their 600 new pop-up express locations. Walmart, the nation's largest retailer, doesn't release its specific numbers, but says its seasonal hiring is on par with last year.

Walk your neighborhood or mall. Even though you may not see a HELP WANTED sign in the window, walk in and ask. Security and Shipping: More customers mean more security is needed for stores. One national company, Allied Barton, provides guards for retailers and office buildings across the country. The company will add more than 1,000 seasonal hires this year.

Buying gifts often means sending gifts to family around the country. UPS says it expects to hire 50,000 people, the majority of whom will be drivers and package handlers who help drivers make deliveries and who sort, load and unload packages.

Those are just two of the biggest companies in their categories, but there are many companies hiring on the local level. SnagAJob.com lists hourly seasonal jobs in security, shipping and retail with local and national companies.

Sitters Wanted

Sitting Services: The two biggest spikes are pet sitters (while families travel) and babysitters. Care.com sees a spike starting in about a month for pet sitters and SeekingSitters.com sees a big jump in childcare requests from Thanksgiving through New Year's Eve, which is the only night of the year when families expect to pay a significant premium on services, typically as much as double the standard rates.

The key is to start sitting now to get to know families and the kids, so you're the one they request on the big night. (SitterCity.com and FetchPetCare.com are two other options to pursue.)


-  TORY JOHNSON

Workplace Contributor


Tory Johnson is the CEO of Women For Hire and the Workplace Contributor on ABC's "Good Morning America." Tell her about your direct sales success at Facebook.com/Tory.   Visit the "Good Morning America" website.

Copyright © 2010 ABC News Internet Ventures
 
 

Rock legends The Doobie Brothers released World Gone Crazy today, their first new album in over ten years. Produced by Ted Templeman, their producer throughout the 1970's, the new album combines vintage Doobie Brothers harmonies with the latest recording technology, keeping the sound both classic and fresh. "It's the best thing we've done musically in forever," says founding vocalist Tom Johnston in a recent interview with Billboard.

The album features standout tracks like single "Nobody," a remake of a song from their 1971 debut album (watch the video), ballad "Far From Home," "Don't Say Goodbye" with guest vocals from former member Michael McDonald, and "I Know We Won," a duet with legendary musician Willie Nelson. A special deluxe edition of the CD includes a 30 minute, career-retrospective DVD, featuring interviews with the band members and footage from the band's nearly 40 year career. Both editions are available now in stores and online, with a special deluxe bundle that includes a tour t-shirt available at DoobieBros.com.

On Mon., Sep. 27 The Doobie Brothers, working with AT&T, Cisco and Marriott, broadcasted the World Gone Crazy album release event utilizing Virtual Meetings by Marriott with AT&T and Cisco TelePresence, the most advanced interactive video conferencing technology available in select Marriott properties worldwide. Over 15,000 people tuned in to watch the event through various sites.

A new weight loss study conducted by Ben-Gurion University of the Negev (BGU) researchers reveals that dieters who consumed milk or milk products lost more weight on average than those who consumed little to no milk products.

Regardless of diet, researchers also found participants with the highest dairy calcium intake, equal to 12 oz. of milk or other dairy products (580 mg of dairy calcium), lost about 12 pounds (6 kg.) at the end of the two years. In comparison, those with the lowest dairy calcium intake averaging about 150 mg dairy calcium, or about half of a glass, only lost seven pounds on average. The study was published in the current issue of the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

Beyond calcium, the researchers also found that blood levels of vitamin D independently affected weight loss success. Vitamin D levels increased among those who lost more weight. The dietary intervention study also confirmed other research that overweight participants have lower blood levels of vitamin D.

More than 300 overweight men and women, aged 40 to 65, participated in the study evaluating low fat, Mediterranean or low-carb diets for two years. Dr. Danit Shahar, of BGU’s S. Daniel Abraham Center for Health and Nutrition and the Faculty of Health Sciences, led the study. It was part of the Dietary Intervention Randomized Control Trial (DIRECT) conducted at the Nuclear Research Center in Israel.

According to Dr. Shahar, "It was known that over-weight people had lower levels of serum vitamin D but this is the first study that actually shows that serum Vitamin D increased among people who lost weight. This result lasted throughout the two years that the study was conducted, regardless of whether they were on a low-carb, low fat or Mediterranean diet."

Vitamin D increases calcium absorption in the bloodstream and in addition to sun exposure can be obtained from fortified milk, fatty fish and eggs. Americans generally consume less than the recommended daily requirement of Vitamin D which is found in four glasses of milk (400 international units).

The study was supported by the Israel Ministry of Health and the Israel Dairy Council, the Israel Chief Scientist Office, German Research Foundation and the Dr. Robert C. and Veronica Atkins Research Foundation.



Dairy Calcium Intake, Serum Vitamin D, and Successful Weight Loss. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. 2010. Published ahead of print.


Shahar DR, Schwarzfuchs D, Fraser D, Vardi H, Thiery J, Fiedler GM, Blüher M, Stumvoll M, Stampfer MJ, Shai I.

In 2011, Disney guests will become the stars of a nightly spectacular when photos taken in the park during the day become larger-than-life projections on Cinderella Castle at Walt Disney World Resort or “it’s a small world” at Disneyland Resort. This groundbreaking new experience will celebrate the family vacation memories created in Disney theme parks every day.

And this week, Disney guests will begin starring on television, too, as part of the new “Let the Memories Begin” campaign. For the first time, Disney Parks is featuring the home videos and snapshots of real guests in television ads and other marketing that will allow an audience of millions to share in true-life, heartfelt moments.

“A Disney vacation is the perfect way to create family memories that will last a lifetime,” said Tom Staggs, chairman of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts, at a media announcement Thursday in New York. “We’ll spotlight those ‘only-at-Disney’ moments with family and friends during our ‘Let the Memories Begin’ campaign.”

A just-released survey of U.S. and Canadian families conducted for Disney Parks by Ypartnership, a noted research firm that tracks consumer insights and trends in travel, showed that vacation memories hold a special place in family history.

Nine out of 10 parents said they planned their vacations with the express hope that they would result in a lasting family memory, the survey showed. And those memories stuck with

them – nearly three-quarters said they think back “often” or “very often” on their favorite vacation experiences.


‘Memories in the Making’ to be Shared on Disney Park Icons

Beginning in January 2011, some Disney parks guests will find that the memory they just made has become a larger-than-life image during a “Let the Memories Begin” nighttime experience.

At Walt Disney World Resort, the guest photos will be projected on the soaring spires of Cinderella Castle in Magic Kingdom. At Disneyland Resort, the iconic façade of “it’s a small world” will be the canvas for the show.

In both locations, Disney PhotoPass photographers will capture guests caught up in the Disney experience – a memory in the making – and as many as 500 photos will be used in each location every day, producers estimate.

The nighttime show will use the latest in high-intensity projection technology to create vivid visuals that seem to defy the architecture of the building. A new song commissioned for the show will provide an emotional context for these images of the Disney guest experience.

For TV Ads and More, Disney Parks Issues a ‘Call for Memories’

Beyond seeing their own projected photos in lights, guests also could become the stars of Disney Parks television commercials, online campaigns and social media opportunities that will showcase to the world the power of memories.

The campaign kicks off this week with a TV commercial created from videos posted online in social media forums.

For future TV commercials and other advertising and marketing programs, Disney Parks is asking guests to share their memories by uploading photos and videos at a special “Let the Memories Begin” online hub at www.DisneyParks.com/Memories. From a first meeting with a princess to a laugh-filled watery touchdown on Splash Mountain, Disney Parks is looking for videos and photos that capture those never-to-be-forgotten experiences.

Some memories will be shared online, while others may be selected to share in print ads, brochures and other marketing – including television ads to air across the United States and Canada.

With real visitor images on iconic attractions and home video featured in commercials, the storytellers at Disney Parks are letting guests tell their own stories in 2011, Staggs said.

“We wanted to give our guests a powerful way to share the memories they create every day in our parks,” Staggs said. “Essentially, this becomes our first user-generated show and our first user-generated marketing campaign.

“A day at a Disney park is filled with magical experiences that become cherished and unforgettable memories – and now we’re helping our guests share those memories with the world.”


More Ways to Make Disney Vacation Memories in 2011:

To help make special memories last a lifetime, in 2011 Disney Parks is adding new theme park experiences in California and Florida, new vacation opportunities on the high seas with Disney Cruise Line, a new luxury resort on a breathtaking lagoon in Hawaii, and new ways to explore the world with Adventures by Disney.


Here’s a snapshot of what’s in store:


•  “World of Color” (Disneyland Resort): “World of Color,” the new nighttime spectacular presented in Disney California Adventure park, brings classic Disney and Disney•Pixar animation to life with nearly 1,200 powerful fountains, larger-than-life projections, lasers, fire, music and special effects.

•  Disney California Adventure Expansion (Disneyland Resort): Next up for the continuing expansion of the park is the first major attraction based on the modern Disney classic, “The Little Mermaid.” The Little Mermaid ~ Ariel’s Undersea Adventure will treat guests to a musical retelling of the classic motion picture as the best-loved songs come alive in magnificent scenes all around them.

•  New Star Tours 3-D Adventure (Walt Disney World Resort and Disneyland Resort): Bridging that “long time ago” between the two “Star Wars” trilogies, Star Tours: The Adventures Continue will take flight in 2011 and take voyagers to thrilling destinations throughout the “Star Wars” galaxy. And it will all happen in brilliant, 3-D technology.

•  Disney Cruise Line: The Disney Dream, the newest ship of the Disney Cruise Line, launching January 2011, will bring to life grand innovations and more, offering a cruise experience from stem to stern that caters to preferences of the entire family. The Disney Wonder cruise ship will “go west” in early 2011; and new West Coast itineraries for Disney Cruise Line will include, for the first time, Alaska cruises sailing from Vancouver.

•  Aulani, a Disney Resort & Spa, Ko Olina Hawaii: A first-of-its-kind Disney resort in Hawaii creates a perfect setting for family fun. The new resort, which includes traditional hotel rooms and Disney Vacation Club villas, is being built on 21 acres of oceanfront property, 17 miles from Honolulu International Airport and approximately 30 minutes from Waikiki.

•  Adventures by Disney: In 2011, Adventures by Disney guests will step off of planes, cruise ships and camels into living chapters of history during seven- and nine-night Egypt itineraries. These guided travel vacations allow families to visit destinations they never dreamed possible – including Italy, South Africa and China – with the assurance of the Disney name.

Frugal is as frugal does--- At least, that's what my Mama used to say. Actually, I think that was stupid, not frugal and I think that was Forrest Gump's mama, not mine. But I digress...we're talking about frugality here, not stupidity. Although a case for stupidity could be made for the way we buy groceries these days-- throwing just about anything in our carts, left, right and center.

The first mistake is thinking we have no time and are therefore, slaves to convenience foods. What's so helpful about Hamburger Helper, anyway? It's full of scary ingredients, costs too much money and isn't doing a thing for you health-wise.

The second mistake we make is thinking we are the exception to the 24 hours a day rule-we ALL have the same amount of time each day. So why not make real food for yourself and your family a priority? Cooking from scratch doesn't require leg irons attached to you and the stove and dramatic farewells to family and friends. You will see other rooms in your house and yes, you can have a life. It is really easy to pull this off--I've done it for years.

You absolutely need a plan. Write down everything your family likes. Is spaghetti a winner? Does the family like the way you make Great Aunt Suzy's Chicken Supreme (all done with healthy ingredients, of course) or is Great Aunt Suzy's Chicken Supreme too time consuming to make? Then ditch it and start over.

Bottom line: your dinners have to be simple and some should be double-able and freeze-able. Every time you make meatloaf, make two. Or double casseroles or extra burritos even. Then you can have a frozen stash on those days when life isn't coming together.

Sounds basic, right? It is. But it is amazing how many people live off adrenaline, driving home from work each day sweating it out because they don't have one earthly idea what's for dinner. If you have a plan, the world is your oyster. And if you don't have a plan, check out mine at SavingDinner.com

Here's a great recipe guaranteed to get you in and out of the kitchen fast and have the family begging for more!


Muy Nacho Stuffed Shells


12 ounces jumbo shells (32 to 36 shells) -- uncooked

3/4 pound extra-lean ground beef

1 /4 cup quick oatmeal, uncooked

1 package (1.25-ounce) low-sodium taco seasoning mix (no msg)

1 cup water

1 can (16-ounce) refried beans with chilies

1 cup low-fat cheddar cheese -- shredded

3/4 cup mild, medium, or hot salsa (your favorite jarred variety)

1 can (8-ounce) tomato sauce

1/2 cup thinly sliced green onions



Optional Garnishes:

grated low-fat cheddar cheese

chopped cilantro

salsa (use your favorite jarred variety)

Avocado, carefully chopped



Prepare pasta according to package directions. While pasta is cooking, cook up the beef in a large skillet until browned; drain well and add the oatmeal. Add taco seasoning mix and water; simmer 5 minutes or until thickened. Stir in beans and cheese.

Cook until smooth and well-mixed. When pasta is done, drain well. Fill shells with beef mixture (1-2 tablespoons per shell). Combine salsa and tomato sauce in a saucepan. Cook until heated, stirring occasionally.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread 1/2 cup sauce over the bottom of a 9 x 13-inch baking pan that has been lightly greased. Place filled shells side by side on top of sauce; pour remaining sauce evenly over shells. Cover with a tent of aluminum foil; bake 35 to 40 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Sprinkle with green onions. Cover and let stand 5 minutes before serving. Garnish as desired.


Leanne Ely, C.N.C.

Your Dinner Diva at your service on http://savingdinner.com/


Copyright (C) 2010 www.savingdinner.com Leanne Ely, CNC All rights reserved.


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www.youtube.com/savingdinner


Listen to Leanne on BLOG TALK RADIO   Every Wednesday at Noon (est)
Can't make the show?  That's ok come listen to the podcast!
www.blogtalkradio.com/saving-dinner

I was watching television Saturday night, as I was getting ready for bed. On the news, was a story about an older man who had excruciating knee pain that was being helped via injections of some kind of pharmaceutical grade capsicum. Or in layman's terms, make that red pepper. That's right, hot chili pepper and it was making this man's pain go away; better than any other drug and no side effects.

Herbalists and alternative medicine users have known this for years. Cayenne pepper, capsicum, is a natural pain reliever. Not only that, but it has the ability to do about 100 other healthful things, including rev your metabolism, help digestion, improve circulation, stop bleeding, you name it--the claims are endless.

And while I won't vouch for each capsicum claim ever made, I will tell you that this spice adds some kick to your tacos, or anything else you happen to add it to.

Even if you doubt the veracity of hot pepper's healing proponents, surely you'd enjoy a little spice in your dinnertime! Here's a recipe using cayenne pepper--enjoy!


Red Pepper Pasta
Serves 4


12 ounces spaghetti noodles, cooked

1-2 tablespoons olive oil

2 medium red bell peppers (deseeded, deribbed and cut into strips)

1 large onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, pressed

1 teaspoon dried basil

1/2 to 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

3/4 cup chicken broth

3/4 cup Romano cheese, grated

1 cup low-fat cream cheese, at room temperature


In a skillet over medium high heat, heat your olive oil. To the hot oil, add the peppers and onions. Cook till peppers are wilted and onions are translucent. Add the garlic and cook another minute or two; don't let the garlic turn brown. Add the basil, stir and remove from pan.

To the emptied skillet, add the chicken broth and bring to a simmer, scraping up any browned bit on the bottom of the pan. Add the Romano and cream cheeses, whisking in until well blended and simmering. Now add the pepper mixture back to the skillet and mix well. Add the cooked pasta and toss. Serve with additional Romano cheese garnishing the top if desired.


Leanne Ely, C.N.C.

Your Dinner Diva at your service on http://savingdinner.com/


Copyright (C) 2010 www.savingdinner.com Leanne Ely, CNC All rights reserved.

Today's focus is on Asparagus


Asparagus are elegant and delicious! Lots of fiber, easy to cook; delicious to eat. I’ll tell you how!


Here's a TIP:


My grocery store keeps the asparagus standing upright in water to keep them fresh. You can do this yourself when you bring them home and they’ll last for days in your fridge.


Here’s today’s TRICK:

SMELL the tops of the asparagus in the store. The tips should NOT be slimy and stinky! Look for ends that aren’t dried out and woody. Some people like thicker asparagus, I prefer the pencil thin variety—you need to decide that one based on your own personal preference.


And your RECIPE:

(Okay, this isn’t truly a “recipe” recipe, but more of a fun tip on how to asparagus on the grill. Believe me, you’ll be in heaven!)

Make a “raft” out of the asparagus using presoaked bamboo skewers (soak the bamboo in water for 30 minutes before barbecuing to prevent them from igniting) and brushing the asparagus with a little olive oil before hand. Let me tell you, asparagus on the grill is just a little slice of heaven. (watch me make them for you, http://savingdinner.tv)

After you’ve made grilled asparagus on the grill, you won’t want them any other way!


Leanne Ely, C.N.C.

Your Dinner Diva at your service on http://savingdinner.com/


Copyright (C) 2010 www.savingdinner.com Leanne Ely, CNC All rights reserved.

Many people credit the indescribable, nebulous cause of “chemistry” with their initial attraction to their partner. But typically relationships built on nothing more than what amounts to intense physical attraction have a reputation for tapering off or ending abruptly. But a new study finds that people whose physical relationship progresses quickly prior to developing a deeper connection based on intimate knowledge of the other person may actually last just as long.

In an analysis of relationship surveys, University of Iowa sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in "hookups," "friends with benefits," or casual dating relationships. However, having sex early on wasn't to blame for the disparity.

According to Science Daily, “When Paik factored out people who weren't interested in getting serious, he found no real difference in relationship quality. That is, couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship ended up just as happy as those who dated and waited.”

"We didn't see much evidence that relationships were lower quality because they started off as hookups," said Paik. The study judged quality by asking participants the extent to which the person loved their partner, the relationship's future, level of satisfaction with intimacy, and how their lives would be different if the relationship ended. According to the answers, the study administrators were able to deduce that although sexual involvement wasn't to blame for the lower quality scores for relationships initiated as hookups.

Paik points to selection: Certain people are prone to finding relationships unrewarding, and those individuals are more likely to form hookups. The question is whether it's the type of relationship that causes lower quality or whether it's the people," he said. "The finding is that it's something about the people."

People who are involved in hookups are likely predisposed to engage in short-term relationships, therefore they'd be unqualified for the parameters of this study which looks at longer term relationships. Starting a sexual relationship prior to discussing important compatibility issues can spell disaster and pain in the long run – in part two of this article, I look at how to avoid overcommitting to a relationship sexually by taking time to ask important questions about each other's background.


- Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil

Posted by Dr. Bonnie of http://doctorbonnie.com/
 
Featured on Pink Lemonade
 

In spite of the fact that one little word can help us avoid a large number of situations that would be uncomfortable, painful, or downright wrong for us, learning to say "NO" is one of the most difficult skill challenges we face. As women, we fear that the word "no" will result in rejection - that if we don't agree to what other people want us to do, then we'll end up not being loved. Your body tells you when "NO" is the correct answer; it's the strong contraction reflex that I'm sure you're familiar with. How many times have you ignored that reflex and ended up in a situation that could have been avoided?


Evans asks:


"My ex girlfriend says she likes me, but she doesn’t want a boyfriend or a commitment right now. We began kissing and holding hands 2 weeks after the breakup but she stopped because she doesn’t want to complicate things. What should I do if I want to win her back?"


What exactly is unclear about "she doesn't want a boyfriend or commitment"? Her putting a stop to the kissing and holding hands also indicates that she's trying to make a break, not form a bond. Love is not a sport, and you'd both be better off if you learn from this and move on rather than trying to win affections she clearly doesn't want to give. If you really want to get something out of this situation, ask her where you went wrong in her opinion, and use that information to help you prepare for your next relationship with someone else.


Brandon asks:


"On several occasions I have asked my fiancé how much she loves me and if she’s willing to sacrifice things like; moving, leaving her friends and family to come with me. She constantly avoids the questions. What I want to know is does she really love me seeing as she doesn’t seem willing to give up some things for our relationship?"


Let me show you exactly how much she has sacrificed and how committed she is: out of seven billion people on the earth, who did she choose to be with? YOU. Does that not make you feel wonderful and special and wanted? If you choose to look at the glass half-empty and keep inventing new tests for her to fail, all you'll do is make yourself miserable instead of seeing the sacrifice and commitment she's already made.


Melissa asks:


"My husband of 19 yrs. was just caught having an affair. It was going on for 2½ years. Since then he has been begging, pleading, etc., that it was a mistake and he only wants me and the kids. I believe he is close to a nervous breakdown. Here is my question; the only place they ever saw each other was at her apartment during the day for sex 2-3x a month. He never bought her anything, took her anywhere or gave her any money. She confirmed this so it has to be true. He insists he never cared for her, it was only sex. He never told her he loved her. He called her in front of me and told her I love my wife, you were only sex, she freaked. Could it be true to have a 2½ yr affair and have no feelings for her?"


Monogamy and trust are two of the supporting foundation blocks on which a marriage is built. When one of them crumbles, it can be difficult; when both of them crumble, it can be devastating. In your case, there's the additional issue that this was not a one-time error of judgement on his part - this was something that went on for two-and-a-half years, which he lied to you about the whole time. So the questions you need to be asking are not to him, but to yourself. What would it take for you to trust your husband again? What would the situation have to be in order for you to believe what he says? You can also learn a lot from asking yourself what your role is, how you were complicit.

There are so many great tools out there to help you in the healing process. I would recommend How to Love Your Marriage by Eve Eschner Hogan as a great source of wisdom to help you face the difficult questions ahead of you. Best of luck, and thank you for sharing.


- Maryanne


by Maryanne Comaroto of Maryanne Live

Featured Weekly on Pink Lemonade Online Magazine

After making huge strides with P90X, Insanity and ChaLEAN Extreme, I’ve was looking for my next challenge. Chalene Johnson, creator of Turbo Jam
and the Turbo Kick workouts at clubs like 24 Hour Fitness and LA Fitness has created an amazing cardio conditioning program called, Turbo Fire.

The Turbo Fire DVD’s really helped me to make some additional changes that I’d been seeking. I have seen changes in my body and my stamina for activities like running, tennis, really anything requiring cardio stamina and intensity.


The High Intensity Interval Training (aka HIIT) gave me a great workout every time. Turbo Fire also creates an “After Burn” effect which really does work miracles. You do have to work hard to see results, but I think it was so worth it and so much fun. Chalene Johnson is such a great instructor and motivator. She has such a
positive attitude and energy to burn. It is contagious when you workout with her. She won’t even let you feel negativity or tired. She always seems to say the right thing at the right time to help me stay
motivated enough to keep moving. The music to the workouts are also really energizing and fun.


The basic Turbo Fire set comes with 12 different workouts. I never get bored and the variety of moves and intensity always keeps my body guessing.


The claim is that with Turbo Fire you will burn up to 9 times more fat than you would with other workout programs. Because of the After Burn effect you will have an accelerated metabolism for 24 to 48 hours after you finish a Turbo Fire workout. By working out really intensely for awhile and then cooling down repeatedly you will be able to make more progress than just working out at one intensity. It certainly seems to be working for me.


I am so glad that I tried Turbo Fire and gave it all that I had. Turbo Fire workout has definitely helped me make changes for the better.





In addition to the 12 DVDs, Turbo Fire also includes:


Turn Up the Burn Fitness Guide
Get more in the know about HIIT and why TurboFire really works.


TurboFire Class Schedule
We’ve taken the guesswork out of working out so you can get the best results.


TurboFire Lower-Body Band
Add definition and build long, lean muscles with this body-sculpting band.


Fuel the Fire Nutrition Guide
Maintain high energy while you train with easy-to-prepare snacks and recipes.


The TurboFire 5-Day Inferno Plan
See how you can lose up to 10 pounds in 5 days.


The program retails for $120, but that’s only $12 per workout and you get so many extras. I think it is so worth every penny. Plus, you get a 30-day money back guarantee. If you are interested in getting
Turbo Fire shop my site at CoachJennsFitness.com. You get my free fitness coaching with any purchase. I love helping other women and moms get in the best shape EVER!


"We are all athletes in the game of life. Train like one!"



- Coach Jenn

of PersonalFitCoach.com your source for free fitness coaching at Team Beachbody too and BestHealthyShakes.com
.

Featured Weekly on Pink Lemonade Online Magazine

In today's environmentally conscious times, it seems we're surrounded by the need to shop, act and live "green." Some of our choices are easy and small, while others can be big and costly. But one thing is for sure - each choice can make a significant difference. But as many of us know from experiences of trying to diet, the most successful long-term changes we make can't make us feel as if we are "giving up" the small pleasures that we enjoy.

According to Ed Detgen at Danze, Inc., some of the most important green choices we can make involve decisions to live more green within our own home. But what does living green really mean?

"For some of us it may mean putting in Energy Star appliances or energy-efficient windows," says Detgen. "And for others it could be evaluating in-home water usage."

It's the latter that Detgen believes could be one of the simplest and most significant steps any of us could take. "Water shortages, energy demands and the cost of transporting water are all on the rise," he says. "Finding ways to simply reduce our usage without dramatically altering our lifestyle could save billions of gallons of water each year in the United States."

Detgen offers up these tips on how you can immediately start conserving water (and save money) in your home:


* Replace older toilets (1992 or earlier) with newer, high-efficiency models. They operate at 1.28 gallons per flush and could save 11 gallons of water per toilet per day. According to Detgen, Danze has several new HETs (high efficiency toilets) that out-perform and are more stylish than many toilets found in current homes.


* Be sure to turn off the tap when brushing your teeth - it could save nearly 3,000 gallons of water per year.


* Update your bathrooms with newer WaterSense certified lavatory faucets. According to the Environmental Protection Agency WaterSense program, if every household in the United States installed these water-saving lavatory faucets, we could save more than $350 million in water utility bills and more than 60 billion gallons of water annually, plus $600 million in energy costs for heating the water


* Always turn the water off between tasks. Letting your faucet run for five minutes uses about as much energy as letting a 60-watt light bulb run for 14 hours.


* Make sure to wash only full loads of laundry. Using a high-efficiency washing machine is ideal, as they use about 28 gallons of water per load, versus an average machine that uses 41 gallons.


* Take a shower rather than a bath. A full bath tub requires up to 70 gallons of water, while taking a five-minute shower uses 10 to 25 gallons. Want to be even more efficient? Switch your showerhead to a water-saving option.

"We realize that most people don't want to have showers that are less satisfying than they currently have," adds Detgen. "The EPA WaterSense program recently published standards for showerheads that consider both conservation and performance to build support of these water-saving units. Be sure to look for the WaterSense certification mark."


* Fix those leaks. Most leaky faucets can waste more than 3,000 gallons of water each year.


"Better design and engineering of many new bathroom products actually gives the user improved performance as well as efficiency," adds Detgen. "Faucets, toilets and showerheads are great examples. They're just like appliances that use less energy, but still work very well."

If all the water-saving, green choices still have you overwhelmed, select one tip at a time and incorporate it into your home. Looking for other tips? Visit the EPA's WaterSense website.

For more information about the performance and efficiency of Danze faucets, showerheads and toilets, visit http://www.danze.com/.

Getting a grip on the kids' sugar intake is something that needs to be taken seriously. Something you probably didn't know is that sugar will actually stun white blood cells for a period of time, so in effect, you are compromising your immune system.

I'm not going to go through the sugar addict essay I've already hit you with--but I do think it's important to start thinking about sugar again as we get ready to deal with our children during this school year with their incessant hunger for "after school snacks" (just those words can drive a sane woman to the brink!) and how instead of trying to appease and make them happy, that we need to make intelligent choices with the long-term goal of feeding their souls, not just filling holes (empty tummies).

I remember going to the orthodontist with my then 13 year old daughter. Before she began her treatment, he had her sign a contract that while she is under his care, she will not eat any candy and she will brush after every meal. Her treatment would have been for 27 months (but we moved and changed orthodontists). Later, she had new braces put on with the new guy and by the time she was 15, her teeth were absolutely beautiful.

I thought about this after I came home that first afternoon. I considered the cost of what this meant to both of us--figuratively and literally: my daughter needing to make a sacrifice and so will I (monetarily). Why are we doing this? She loves candy and I like seeing my savings account with money in it!

Because it's worth it! The cost of NOT following these instructions would mean the possibility of damaged teeth.

What about your children? Are they hooked on junk food, sugar and bad behavior? Are you at wit's end and just praying that school would miraculously be extended into the weekend?

Make it a point to guard their diets. You are growing children here--they need real food! If you are feeling guilty for allowing so much junk then you need to sit down with them and tell them you are sorry for giving them so much garbage to eat. Take responsibility and make a few changes. Don't cut them off from all "fun" food, but don't let their diets be 95% junk either. Everyone will suffer-- I guarantee it. And later on, the guilt will really come if you don't do better than you know you can do.

We only get ONE chance to raise them right. Take charge and make sure they have aren't entertaining the candy monster too often and stand your ground on healthy foods and snacks.


Leanne Ely, C.N.C.

Your Dinner Diva at your service on http://savingdinner.com/


Copyright (C) 2010 www.savingdinner.com Leanne Ely, CNC All rights reserved.

With all the talk these days about healthy fats vs. unhealthy fats, you might be wondering what exactly is a healthy fat? Never fear, your Dinner Diva is here to help clear up the confusion. If you're going to go thru all the time and effort to prepare a meal for your family isn't it important to know what constitutes a heath fat? First off, never automatically buy the products that say "low fat" or "fat free". Take a look at the ingredients. I'll bet sugar is one of the first things listed as an ingredient. Do you know why? It is being used to replace the flavor from fat with the flavor of sugar. A healthier option is to simply buy regular variety and eat less.

So let's talk fat. Fats are a necessary part of our diets. Unsaturated fats, both monounsaturated and polyunsaturated, can help lower your bad cholesterol levels while helping to maintain an appropriate level of good cholesterol. However, there are some that are unhealthy and should be avoided. These include saturated and trans fats. It is important that you know the foods that contain these bad fats in order to decrease your consumption of them.

Saturated fats promote high levels of LDL cholesterol, which is the bad form of cholesterol. If eaten without moderation, these substances can increase your risk of heart disease as well as high blood pressure. Saturated fats tend to be found in meats, eggs, and dairy products. Cooking additives such as coconut and palm oils also contain saturated fats. You can limit your intake of these bad fats by consuming lean meats and low-fat milk, cheese, and yogurt (or buy the regular variety and eat less).

Trans fats are created when food companies began the process of hydrogenation. This procedure helps to preserve foods, allowing them to have a longer shelf life. Packaged foods tend to contain a great deal of trans fatty acids, as they are well hydrogenated before being sold. Shortening and some oils also contain trans fats. To eliminate these unhealthy fats from your diet, seek foods with labels specifying that they are free of trans fats. Avoid eating too many processed foods, and cook with fresh meats, vegetables, and fruits instead. Cooking with olive oil is also beneficial, as it does not possess any unhealthy fatty acids.

With just a little pre-planning, some simple label reading, and this knowledge you can create healthy meals for you and your family with the right kinds of fat and the right kind of flavor.


Leanne Ely, C.N.C.

Your Dinner Diva at your service on http://savingdinner.com/


Copyright (C) 2010 www.savingdinner.com Leanne Ely, CNC All rights reserved.

Today's focus is on Zucchini


I am lucky enough to have some planted in my garden and it's going crazy. I've had about 4 zucchini so far and YUM, delish! Here are some things you need to know about zucchini:

Massively low in calories--one large zucchini is only 16 calories!

Plenty of phyto nutrients including beta-carotene, B vitamins, a little vitamin C and plenty o' potassium!


Here's a TIP:

Small to medium sized zucchinis are most tasty. Look for a smooth, unblemished skin and nice dark green color. Tasty zucchs skin should feel soft, but the zucchini itself should be hard and not squishy (that means its past its prime, yuck!)


Here's Today's TRICK:

To change things up, I grate my zucchini, sautéing it in garlic and olive oil, topping it with a little freshly grated Romano cheese and fresh ground pepper. Nice side dish and almost rice-like or pasta-like in texture.


And your RECIPE:

(from Saving Dinner the Vegetarian Way)





2 1/4 cups orzo

2 medium zucchini, quartered lengthwise and thinly sliced

15 Kalamata olives, pitted and sliced

6 green onions, thinly sliced

2 stalks celery, thinly sliced

1 large tomato, seeded and cubed

1 1/2 green bell pepper, seeded, deribbed and chopped

1/2 cup olive oil

3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

4 cloves garlic, pressed

1 1/2 teaspoons oregano

1 1/2 tablespoons fresh dill, minced

Salt and pepper to taste

6 ounces feta cheese, crumbled

3 tablespoons mayonnaise



Prepare orzo according to package directions; Drain and rinse under cold water. Drain again very thoroughly. Place in a large bowl.

Stir in the zucchini, olives, green onions, celery, tomato, and green bell pepper.

In a small bowl, beat together the olive oil, vinegar, garlic, oregano, dill, salt and pepper. Pour over the salad and toss to coat well. Sprinkle on the feta cheese and toss again. Add the mayonnaise and toss gently. Chill at least for 2 hours and bring to room temperature before serving.


Per Serving: 575 Calories; 34g Fat; 14g Protein; 57g Carbohydrate; 4g Dietary Fiber; 28mg Cholesterol; 528mg Sodium. Exchanges: 3 Grain (Starch); 1/2 Lean Meat; 1 1/2 Vegetable; 5 1/2 Fat.


SERVING SUGGESTION: Serve with a simple caprese salad: sliced ripe tomatoes, layered with fresh basil leaves, sliced mozzarella and drizzled with extra virgin olive oil. Fresh ground pepper over the top finishes it beautifully.


Leanne Ely, C.N.C.

Your Dinner Diva at your service on http://savingdinner.com/


Copyright (C) 2010 www.savingdinner.com Leanne Ely, CNC All rights reserved.