Thursday, July 10, 2014

How about a greater tomorrow right now?

by Maryanne Comaroto

What is it about falling for someone that turns us into roller coasters of bizarre behavior? There's just something about that other person that makes us compromise everything we believe in, hoping that this new manufactured situation will somehow result in our Happily Ever After (or at least in amazing sex). Then there's a second wave of scrambling around, as we come to our senses and try to retrieve all the parts of ourselves that we lost in the craziness of trying to look perfect to the other person. If you're in a situation now where you're trying to figure out how to get your life back together so you can regain your freedom, find a better relationship, and start to enjoy your life for real, then here's some advice on how to make that greater tomorrow start happening for you right now!

Dear Maryanne,

My girlfriend and I have a serious relationship together. She thinks I’m cheating on her even though I am not cheating on her. She also has been trying to find ways to track my cell phone or track my text messages. She’s now questioning if I am bi or not. She did all this without talking to me as I found this out. What do I do and why is she doing this? I am not cheating on her, nor am I bi and I have nothing to hide. I love her very much.”

- Robert (30, Lakewood, CO, USA)

Dear Robert,

Your girlfriend's behavior may sound outlandish or unfounded, but chances are it's coming from somewhere... and that "somewhere" may very well be her own secret guilt. People who have affairs ofter project their indiscretions onto the other person, in an effort to draw the attention away from themselves. In other words, I think it's very possible that your girlfriend is cheating on you, perhaps with a woman.

But if that turns out not to be the case, then she's probably going through a bad case of insecurity, which can happen to anybody at one point or another. Talk to your girlfriend and ask her what evidence she has that made her think you were cheating. If she doesn't have any, then you need to use that as a springboard for some personal boundaries. You cannot be expected to have a healthy, trusting relationship while she's checking you

r phone and reading your texts. If she doesn't respect those boundaries even after you have demonstrated your trustworthiness and your love, then at least you can deal with the situation now rather than having to deal with it after a marriage or children are in the picture.

- Maryanne

by Maryanne Comaroto of Maryanne Live

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