One of the main reasons I'm so eager to share my inner-view process with people is because I know just how stressful the dating process can be. It's hard to put yourself out there - you feel vulnerable, doubtful, and sometimes even frightened! But if you have the right tools to help you navigate the sea of dating, it can actually be a fun, relaxing process where you simply follow the formula, and enjoy yourself while you're assessing the 1.45 million potential mates out there for you.
Do you know why you're single right now? I mean, what are the reasons behind you not being in a relationship at the moment? Knowing the answer to this question is a lot more important than you might think, because it can determine both why and how you begin going out there and creating your next healthy relationship. Not understanding why you're doing what you're doing can lead to disastrous results when you meet someone you're attracted to.
So these should be your top goals:
1. Be yourself. Don't resort to your old seduction routine! It might help you find a sex partner, but it won't help you find a compatible mate.
2. Stick to your guns with your non-negotiables. Don't settle! They're called non-negotiables for a reason.
3. Keep your true self and your true desires up front and center.
4. Let that true self shine through and enjoy yourself!
Getting on with the inner-view
You don't want to waste a lot of time getting to know all the wrong people, so make some effort to select candidates who at least have the right basic characteristics. How can you tell? Well, your intuition can go a long, long way toward steering you in the right direction. Almost all of our communication is pre-cognitive; take advantage of that by listening to your body when it tells you things. You know when you get a gut feelings, and you know that your gut feelings are always right. So trust them!
Here are some things to remember about GREAT relationships:
* There's no hurry to get serious. Don't worry that "the right one" will get away - if they do, then they really weren't the right one! There's nothing like a first kiss or the first time you make love, so don't ruin it by doing it before the time is right. You'll respect yourself more, and the right partner will respect you, too.
* On a similar topic, remember that intimacy is a gift between two people who respect and trust each other. It's not a tool to be used on the first date to try to catch a mate!
* Love lives within you, it is generated inside you. It is not something that is given to you or taken away from you by other people. No matter what, you have your love as an energy field all around you.
So, now, you've met someone and you're thinking about giving them your contact information or your address. Here are four absolutely essential things to find out first:
1. What can you connect this person to? Is this a friend of a friend? Is it someone who lives in your neighborhood? Do they shop at the same grocery store as you? Establishing a context around a person can help you start to understand what kind of person they are. Don't be afraid to Google them to find out more.
2. Are they single? Not all married people wear rings, and not all flirts are unmarried. Don't assume!
3. Are they available? You might be a single person looking for a relationship, but not all single people are. Find out right away if this person is just looking for a little fun or a night in a hotel.
4. What's the geographical situation? Long-distance relationships are stressful. If you want to avoid that, stick with people who live in your local area.
Asking these questions may seem kind of corny, but anyone who sees you looking out for yourself is going to have that much more respect for you, and that can only be a good thing. Getting this basic information is not only important for your heart, it's important for your safety, too.
In the next blog report, we'll discuss the number-one thing you should know before you go on a first date, and the five questions you should ask your date once you're there.
For more info about Maryanne’s tv/webinar series on inner-viewing, In the Ring with Maryanne, http://www.maryannelive.com/.
by Maryanne Comaroto of Maryanne Live